A Crapulous Life

I'm proud to say that today I managed to go to the gym before noon and have a full workout... while still drunk. It was much harder than usual to exercise as you can probably imagine and I think dehydration may have played a factor in the troubles, but what can you do?
When I went out last night I knew there would be drinking, I just didn't realize it was going to be an all out bender, complete with being teased mercilessly by the guys, free shots of jagermeister from the bartender, and ending the evening (before passing out) by partaking in some drunken dialling -- which by the way, I do not recommend if you do not want to make an ass of yourself. My apologies to those involved in my debauchery. I am an idiot.
Fuck, drunken dialling, what the hell was I thinking? I should NEVER have gotten a cell phone. I think I am just beginning to realize the horror of what took place. Oh my god, I think I am going to go hang my head in shame over the porcelain now.