The End of Hurricane Season

Today is the official last day of the hurricane season. I doubt that nature will regard this meaningless timescale established by mere mortals, especially since tropical depression Epsilon or whatever is forming as I type here. That is my semi-fun factoid of the day, can you feel the sarcasm? I'm just exhausted... 5 hours of sleep a night is killing me, but I cannot fall asleep before that no matter how awful I feel. I just keep finding stuff to do, like burning cd's and reorganizing my desktop and doing laundry. I am also disturbed lately by a desire to run out to the mall and do all the shopping errands I have to do within the very last hour of business in the evenings. I sit around all day procrastinating and only at the eleventh hour do I feel that it's time to accomplish something which means getting all panicked about having to do battle with other humans. I need some energy and I think the quickest source might be the Siberian ginseng in the bathroom.

You know, I'm grateful for everyday that I still have a job to go to but it's really fucking hard to get up in the mornings and it's really hard to drive to work while it's still dark and sit drinking a hot beverage right before work starts, because it's still dark. If you're getting the impression that I do not like the darkness, you'd be correct. Time keeps hurtling us towards the shortest day of the year which I believe is the Winter Solstice on the 21st of December. After that I think things should get better and brighter.
I'd like to start saving for a laptop (hopefully an Apple Powerbook, or whatever I can afford come August 2006). I keep lusting after them whenever I walk past the Apple store in Yorkdale. It's always crammed with at least a hundred people which is VERY annoying, and because it's the first Apple store in Canada you'd think Apple would have chosen one of the prime lots that was once part of the Eaton's department store, but no, they have a small shop. It's a space more worthy of a Sonystore, but not the numerous (and crammed) interactive displays of Apple laptops, computers, iPods, the Genius Bar, the accessories for iPods, the software wall, and hell, even the checkout counter. I always find it a frustrating experience.

At work, I had to try really hard all day to keep from sleeping. N. and I watched the Italian workmen from Dufferin Construction build the enclosure for the ossuary which will hopefully support it during the winter and prevent it from falling out of the wall. Unfortunately, as a result of all the activity at the ossuary a large mound of dirt with some bone in it has been scraped together to be water screened on this side of the road and we haven't finished water screening on the other side. This is like the never ending hell project. It's cold out, it's muddy, it snows, there is ice, and frozen fingers and toes.
As much as I want to keep working, I wouldn't be totally unhappy if I knew that I could stay inside for an extended period of time. This quality indoor time would ideally be attached to a paycheque, however that just isn't going to happen for me at my company this winter. I personally feel that they could utilize me for cataloguing but obviously I am delusional. I'm trying not to be bitter and more than a little upset, but it's hard. Sometimes I just feel so beaten down in this profession (at school and work) that I wonder if I should have sold out long ago and gone to law school or teacher's college or something more professionally safe. I know I have the determination and the skill to get through this period but some days you just have to have a big mope. Hence, I declare today Mope Day, not Hump Day, just Mope Day. Everyone feel free to mope.

P.S. An afterthought, well more of an observation. Italian workmen are funny, trying to act polite in front of me, while N. later informs me that as soon as I walk away to the van they begin swearing like sailors. As if I am not aware of the crudeness of construction workers. Like I never walked by crews on the way home from high school in my Catholic school uniform and had some choice commentary yelled my way. Can't you just sense the sexism all around you?