Three Cheers!

I would like to extend my congratulations to some friends at UBC who made it out alive as of yesterday morning at 8:30am PST. What an ungodly hour to graduate at, but at least you had the rest of your day to revel in the glory of freedom.
Cassie, I am so glad that you made it out, especially after they fucked around with your head but you bided your time and then dropped your own special F-bomb right back at them. That was awesomely delightful.
I am sure the others don't know of the existence of this blog, but regardless I'll also say congrats to Julia, Gill, and Mike, and anyone else that graduated really. I hope you all start using the "M.A." title at the end of your signatures... it's what we all paid for right? Although, I confess I have yet to use mine because really it doesn't mean much out here in the real world, except that we possibly didn't know when to stop going to school.
Anyways, I hope you all had a very happy graduation day! Take care to put that degree in an overpriced gold frame; the alumni association will appreciate your support.

WTF?!!?!!

It may be trivial to be so upset over a show being cancelled but I am pissed off about this, even more so than misplacing my iTrip. Speaking of... little iTrip I would like you back.
Just read the following and be appalled.

What the Hell! 7th Heaven Killed Everwood!
And here we were directing all of our anger at One Tree Hill, when it turns out it was 7th Heaven's
last-minute reprieve that chopped down our precious Everwood! Shortly before CW's inaugural upfront presentation today, a well-placed source told me that Everwood was originally slated to be a part of the newbie net's schedule next fall. (In fact, there's still an Everwood page on CW's website.) But then the ratings came in for Heaven's "series" finale, and Ostroff ordered an 11th season instead. All of this was essentially confirmed by Ostroff herself when we went toe-to-toe earlier today at Madison Square Garden. Below is our brief Q&A.

Ausiello: There are a lot of angry Everwood fans out there. They just don't understand why it's the only "bubble" show not returning.
Ostroff: Everwood was honestly the toughest decision. It really was. We knew we wanted to make room on the schedule for at least one new drama.... And when you look at the shows that we're bringing back and what went with what, really, Everwood was the hardest show to fit into the configuration. It was really, really hard because the fans are really devoted.

Ausiello: One of the theories going around is that the moment you decided to bring 7th Heaven back, Everwood died.
Ostroff: (Crickets) It was, you know... it really came down to those two shows. It was such a tough call. Look, we're launching a new network, we wanted to have the best shot we could. Not only for the new network, but also for Runaway, which is a family drama.

Ausiello: Did you ever think about keeping both 7th Heaven and Everwood? They have a pretty good thing going on Monday night.
Ostroff: The thing is, Everwood couldn't really start the night. We looked at the ratings for Everwood, and leading off the night...

Ausiello: No, I'm talking about leaving Everwood where it is at 9 pm after 7th Heaven.
Ostroff: We wanted to put a new show on the air, and Runaway is a really good show. We couldn't have the whole schedule of returning shows.

Ausiello: What about giving Everwood a 13-episode commitment? That way, if Runaway tanks, Everwood could be on deck to fill in.
Ostroff: (Sigh) We wanted to try something new.

Ausiello: I hear the decision to renew Heaven was made after the ratings for the finale came in. True?
Ostroff: It [drew] over seven million people. It's hard to ignore that.

You know what else is hard to ignore? Five million pissed-off Everwood fans.

Algonquin Canoe Trip '06

Before this past weekend, it had been almost ten years since I went on a canoe trip in Algonquin Park, and yes that means canoeing all day with portages between lakes and rivers and then camping in the park interior at night.
I had planned this trip with my friend Gosh and my sister about a month ago but things didn't seem to fully come together until last week, hence the no blogging because we were all stressed out trying to figure out canoe rentals, park permits, meal plans, trip route, weather, etc.
Anyways to get back to the story here, it was probably one of the best camping experiences I've had in ages. The weather was actually quite brutal (there was always some form of precipitation falling on us, even snow at times) but there was no real way to predict that since it seemed to blanket all of Southern Ontario unexpectedly.
It was so cold that fishermen out in the park didn't catch many fish even though their sophisticated GPS fishing radar told them that the fish were out and about, and we saw virtually no wildlife except for the ubiquitous loons who were wailing just as loudly as the wind. However, I didn't mind because I always find loons haunting. Others find them annoying but I have a capacity to just block them out if need be, so that's what I do when the crying gets a little frenetic.
I think the things I enjoyed most about this weekend were the solitude and the feeling that I was completely removed from the stresses of life in the city. I completely put my life here aside, drove up to the park with the girls, and then after much debate over whether to go through with it all, we just did it. Got in that damn canoe and paddled for hours. And the trip was great even with it's challenges and frustrations. I wore 3 or 4 layers of clothing at all times, but it was just heaven for 3 days. Makes me wonder why it took me ten years to embrace this all over again.
This summer's going to be good, I just have that feeling.

Lord of the Rings - The Musical

Yesterday I finally redeemed my last Christmas present -- tickets to the Lord of the Rings musical. I have to admit that going into it I was concerned because of the mediocre reviews by worldwide theatre critics and the fact that it opened at a staggering 4 hours and 45 minutes in length. Needless to say, after many growing pains over the past few months, the show is only 3 hours long and a pretty awesome adaptation for such an epic story.
I think that to be satisfied with it you have to go in with an open mind, a good knowledge of the story and a willingness to let details slide, meaning that you should know and accept that a 3 book epic can't be adapted to the stage without some trimming. But regardless of what was cut or kept, the sets, music, and costumes were great. I never felt that dreaded theatre restlessness -- you know, where about halfway through the play your eyes start to glaze, the mind wanders, the head starts to droop and suddenly you've lost five minutes of dialogue. I blame those symptoms on the fact that theatres are dark and cool, basically the perfect environment for curling into your jacket and sleeping.
Anyhow, I didn't find the Lord of the Rings disappointing at all, in fact, I found it quite enthralling and I would recommend it to anyone who wanted to go see some musical theatre in this town -- we're having a bit of a drought otherwise.
The only downfall I could see about the show was that theatre souvenirs (t-shirts, propaganda, etc.) was ridiculously expensive. I can't justify $50 for a t-shirt that's not very good quality, or $65 for a gold plated replica of the "one true ring".
I guess that is the major downfall of being one of the most expensive theatre productions in history... you've got to take it to the theatre patron to make up your costs.

Oh and on the way home, we saw Christopher Plummer cross the street in front of our car. I resisted all temptation to roll down the window and yell out something ridiculous like "I love you, Captain von Trapp". He probably would have decked me.

Missed Connections

A co-worker told me about the Craigslist 'Missed Connections' page and now I've become a bit addicted to reading all the postings I can. It's interesting that so many people who have seen each other in passing will try and get a message out there to that other stranger. Moreover I guess it's kind of a nice reminder that even though I often don't pay attention to the world or people around me, some people are taking notice, but they missed their chance.
Makes you wonder about who has noticed you.
I guess it's sort of like that old Dentyne commercial where the guy and girl see each other on the subway and she writes her phone number on the frosted glass, but he doesn't have a paper and pen to write it down. Meanwhile, all the other men around him certainly do.
Anyhow if you want to check out Craigslist, find your city and check the 'Missed Connections' under personals.

Becel Ride for Heart

So I signed up for a 75km bike ride benefitting the Heart & Stroke Foundation of Canada on June 4th. Frankly, it could be a miracle if I make it out of there alive, but the other catch is that I need at least $60 in pledges. If you feel you can donate a few bucks, then go to this site:
Heart & Stroke Foundation
click on 'Sponsor a Participant' and look up my name (Denise McGuire). The rest is straightforward. You can choose pre-assigned amounts or your own amount and you can get a tax receipt sent to you as well. I'd sincerely appreciate any sponsors that come my way. Thanks!

Separate Heart from Head

I'm addicted to reading the self-help columns in newspapers and it's usually one of the four things I make time to read in the morning while eating breakfast before work. My order is usually this: headlines, weather, self-help column, horoscope. Self-help and horoscope are usually on the same page so it's almost a two for one.
The column published in the Toronto Star is called "Ellie" after the writer (I'm sure she isn't only local and must get wider readership than just the TorStar) and she always has a Tip of the Day at the end; something important gleaned from one of the day's featured letters.
Today's tip was:
"'The right timing' for a relationship is about mutual attraction meeting mutual needs."
I think this is something that is fairly logical but often gets lost in the struggle to make sense of affairs of the heart.
So, I'll just keep reminding myself of it whenever I get all mixed up, and hopefully that will encourage me to sit back and process things before I get all "fiery" with the rage or other relevant emotions.

Pay Dirt!

Rack it up, it was another pretty good day and a Tuesday at that!
Heard a cool song, "LDN" by Lily Allen, check it out!
Had some good laughs, especially over the Ricky Gervais podcast.
And the topper, I just found out I got "upgraded" to front row seats for the Dave Matthews Band show in June!!! (It only took five faithful years of being a member of the Warehouse).

P.S. If you're looking to get aggression worked out and you're in the TO area, you should look into the Pillow Fight League. It sounds kind of crazy, but kind of like it would be a good show.

Quid nunc?

Went to the pub last night to plan the fantastic voyage for May 2-4 weekend and ended up getting a wee bit trashed.
My friends noted that it was amusing that I needed Friday and Saturday to get over the work week and then my real weekend started Sunday night, right before the new work week.
It sucks because it's true and it's cruel that work weeks are 5 days and weekends are only 2, because I could really relax a lot more often if I figured out a way to just stop caring about all the shit that hits the fan during the week. Just another valid reason to institute some more long weekends in the summer.
Anyhow, some heavy drinking was just what I needed to relax, recover from the most fucked up weekend I have had in about 9 months, and to teach my facial muscles to smile again. They still work people, they still work!
And while I felt disgustingly hungover this morning, the work day was pretty good, almost a complete 180 from the horror of Friday. I say almost, because not everything was perfect, but I'll take what I can get.

Ain't No Love

Friday was an incredibly bad day... I should've figured that any day that starts with an 8am meeting at the office, isn't going to be super great.
Regardless of what was happening at work, suddenly worlds seemed to collide after I got home and had just managed to suppress the last 9 hours. So those events led to a very drawn out evening. I am just so emotionally wiped out and hungover from it all, that I want to fly anywhere in the world and have no contact with anyone, except immediate family.
It's weird, I crave contact and I also want to be left alone. Is there a happy medium in all of this? I know that "time is a healer" and all that crap (which I do know is secretly true) but I don't want to be comforted with cliches. Cliches anger me. Instead, I want to break everything in my room, rip every page in every book I own (which would be exhausting given the extent of my personal library), drive my car into a telephone pole, jump off a cliff into a big body of water that will swallow and suspend me and other such things resulting from a very frustrated split-second decision making process. Things I would all regret very much afterwards.
Ah rage, I do enjoy you sometimes, but you make my heart beat very very erratically.

Square One

Repression is bad. Repression causes a flood of feelings that you thought you had resolved months ago to bubble to the surface, which apparently is not the case.
I am so hurt and unhappy, and I didn't even know it. Months ago I felt sadness and relief and now I just feel empty and alone.
Mostly I harbour a deep sadness for the selves we've left behind because we just can't be those people again. They are gone and I know it's not necessarily a bad thing but I have always had trouble letting go and changing.
I'm just hurting here.

Don't feel bad about this post... these emotions caught me off guard today.
It's not really your fault I feel this way. I know you have a right to live your life the way you want, freely and without feeling guilty if you make me feel bad. I guess we just haven't transcended that boundary to strict friendship yet because I know that I'll always love you in some way.
I'm going to eat chocolate in the bathtub now.

Little Miss Selfish

... because I am and because I would love to throw a major temper tantrum right this instant.
Wish I could lie down on the floor and cry, scream, and flail my arms and legs, a full out selfish ridiculous display.

Stephen Harper Eats Babies

Over the weekend, an "evil" genius managed to hack into the GO train system of electronic message boards with the following note: "Stephen Harper Eats Babies" - a declaration that ran constantly for a few days.
GO techies couldn't figure out how to get their own electronic advertising to stop running in order to remove the so-called offensive passage, so they had to shut down the entire message board system on Monday until they redesign their software to be password protected.
Anyways, my point is that I giggled maniacally to myself on the TTC when I read about this so I would like to buy this "evil" genius several drinks in congratulations for doing something that I can't believe hasn't been done before. Good on ya!

May Day

I don't mean to be negligent, I've just been consumed by the act of getting up early, working outdoors all day, and being tired after work. Life isn't that exciting right now.
We spend a lot of time at work talking about random stuff, like American politics, levitation, and zeppelins. A definite key to success in fieldwork is being able to talk about anything that could randomly come up. Otherwise, I could just get pissed off that Stephen Harper is being the dink we all knew he would be with a little power in his paws, or with whatever else is fucked up in the world,but what's the point? I can't solve it out there in a dusty field surrounded by bulldozers, so I'm trying not to get too riled up.
I read an interesting blurb in the most recent issue of Archaeology magazine by Brian Fagan. Basically he's saying the good old days of idle excavation in archaeology are gone. The future is CRM, working to publish neglected collections of field notes and artifacts, and basically being versatile enough to go and talk to the public about archaeology and then hit up the lab for some good old cataloguing and cleaning (and other stuff too numerous to type right now). I have to admit, he's kind of right. There are too many academic archaeologists out there in the world. Aiming to be a professor (like myself) is one thing, but being an archaeologist without contributing to the overall body of knowledge the way a lot of scholars do (or used to do) is just pointless. I may never have a job with benefits and a pension, or at least not a job that seriously pays well. Hopefully that situation will hold off for a generation or two because dammit, I have student loans to pay off and I'm crazy enough to think that I like this enough to want to stick it out and figure a way to get some money out of it all. In the end I guess you just have to pepper the resume with versatile toppings. I think I can do that...